


The Dark before the Dawn

by SatisfiedImmoralist



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aredian is a giant dick, Awesome Arthur, Awesome Gwen (Merlin), Awesome Morgana, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Guilty Merlin, Morgana gets the love and support she deserves, OT4, Scared morgana, Team Bonding, Uther is a conflicted dick, also simple, but ultimately still a dick, well later in the story anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-10-28 14:52:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10833528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatisfiedImmoralist/pseuds/SatisfiedImmoralist
Summary: Where Aredian proves to be a far more formidable force than expected and manages to expose Morgana as a witch - thus setting off a chain of events that may ultimately decide the fate of Albion.





	1. Chapter 1

***screams into the void* Hellooo!**

**A.N. - It feels like there's hardly anyone reading Merlin fanfiction anymore much less Mergana fanfic, but nevertheless here is a monster I created a year and a half ago, one that has refused to let me write anything else unless I finish it. I've tried not to make it seem too rushed - but I feel like it still might seem like that at points. This is not proofread so mistakes might've slipped in here and there.**

**Disclaimer - Don't you think If a loud Morgana lover like me owned the show it would have been quite different at certain points? Anyway, Merlin and its characters belong to the BBC and the respective writers/producers whose names I do not care to remember.**                                                  

 

Chapter  I

 

Gaius could hardly feel his limbs. His entire body felt paralyzed for having sat in the uncomfortable chair for Goddess knows how long. The small room was rank, dark and cramped. Gaius was tired – so, so tired from having repeated the same damn thing in so many different ways.

 

“Your accusations…” He broke off into a coughing fit “are baseless. Sooner or later… your true nature will be revealed. That you are nothing but a…” Gaius somehow managed to make his next words sound venomous even as was breathless “A petty fraud.”           

 

Unfortunately, Aredian was anything but tired. He knelt to match Gaius’ eye level. “Ah, but I am more than that. You know it, Gaius. Just as I know that you are not the true sorcerer in this castle.”

 

“If you are referring to Merlin, then I have already told you…” Gaius began, but Aredian cut him off mid-sentence.

 

“Not him. At least, not just him.” Aredian stood up, a conspiratorial smile on his face, “I wonder… what great shock will the people of Camelot find itself in should their beloved lady turn out to be a witch?”

 

Gaius fixed Aredian with a look of suspicion “What are you talking about?”

 

“It’s unbecoming of a man of science like you to play dumb, Gaius.” Aredian said. “You know very well who I am talking about.” 

Gaius just stared.

 

“The royal ward, the Lady Morgana.” He drew out her title as if it were a joke at that point.

 

Gaius scoffed, “Then you must be more delusional than I ever gave you credit for. Not only are you spouting nonsense, but the king will flay you alive if you so much as mention her name and sorcery in the same sentence.

 

“I don’t think you give your king enough credit, Gaius." drawled Aredian "More importantly, to his war against magic. From what little I know of Uther Pendragon, his fear and pride has always overridden any love he’s had for anyone. And it will not be any different this time. I haven’t been idle this past week. I have found everything about the happenings of this castle that needed finding. You will be surprised at the number of loose-tongued people I have encountered – servants and knights alike."

 

"So? What could you have possibly have found that Uther doesn't know himself? He is the Lord of this castle, he knows all about its happenings. I fail to see what use you could possibly have for castle gossip." Gaius stated pointedly with a raised eyebrow.

 

"Ah... sometimes there are things in front of us that we fail to see - connections that we fail to make, all because we can't be bothered to, or perhaps...because we don't wish do. Because we fear what they may mean. In such cases, an external source can be very helpful in showing clarity."

 

"And you intend to be that source for him."

 

Aredian smiled "Why of course." 

 

Gaius sighed. "...Why are you doing this, Aredian?"

 

"You know why, Gaius. For what you did to me all those years ago. And now you dare to challenge me. " Aredian sneered. "I warned you once before to not underestimate me. But you seemed to have forgotten what I am capable of. Now just you wait and watch."

 

And with that, Aredian left, leaving Gaius further slumped in his chair, dreading what the future held for them all.

* * *

 

 

"Are you sure?" Uther sounded apprehensive. "But the amulet was found right there in his chambers! And he admitted to possessing the artifact."

 

"All that is true, Sire. But After interrogating him thoroughly I firmly believe that he is speaking the truth. He is not the one who has performed sorcery in the town recently." Aredian seemed confident in his inference.

 Uther seemed to accept this readily, he wasn't too keen on persecuting Gaius from the beginning and it was a relief to know that he hadn't betrayed him.

 

"Then... who could it be?" Uther asked.

 

"That's what I am here to find out. But first, I need your permission for something.” replied Aredian.

 

In the Camelot dungeons and far away from the throne room, the court physician gave took a long breath after he was released from his ordeal.The first face Gaius saw upon being released was obviously that of his young ward who pulled him into a fierce hug. Merlin was overjoyed. Gaius had been cleared of all charges and was free to go. He was so relieved that he didn’t even stop to wonder about the strangeness of it all. After getting back to Gaius’ chambers however, Merlin couldn’t deny his curiosity.

“But how? Why did he let you go?”

“I don’t know, Merlin.” Gaius answered gravely. “And I dread to think why.” He didn’t mention Aredian’s unsettling preoccupation with Morgana , nor the fact that The Witchfinder seemed to know of both her and Merlin’s magic. He did, however, warn Merlin to be very careful and stay clear of Aredian.

 

* * *

 

_1 day later_

 

“I need this, Gaius. I need to this matter to be closed with a clear conscience. I have known my ward since she was but a small child, and if she had a shred of the evil of sorcery in her, I would have known. Aredian just needs to ask her some questions to help his investigation.” Uther sipped his wine as he tried to explain his decision to allow Morgana to be interrogated by Aredian to Gaius and Arthur.

 

“My lord, Aredian’s measures are … severe, as you’re already aware. Are you sure subjecting the lady to them is appropriate?” Gaius knew he should not push his luck after being released but he had to try to dissuade the King before Aredian condemned Morgana.

 

“Morgana’s upbringing has been … delicate, yes. But I’m sure she can handle this. Besides, all he’s going to do is talk to her, he wouldn’t dare do anything more. Don’t worry, Gaius. Morgana is strong. She won’t disappoint me, she won’t disappoint Camelot. I know she won’t.”

 

 “Father, what…?! This is madness! You can’t honestly believe that Morgana…”

 

“And I don't. The witchfinder knows what he is doing. And we believe in Morgana, so we shouldn’t worry about it. It’s just a bit of questioning.”

 

“But why does it need to be done in the first place?!”

 

Uther was about to answer when another presence made itself known in the throne room.

 

“You called for me, My Lord? “

 

“Ah yes, Morgana. Perfect timing. I need you to do something for me”

 

“Father-“ Arthur started but Uther cut him short

 

“Enough, Arthur!” shouted Uther. “ Not another word from you! This is for the security of my kingdom and my people – including you and Morgana herself! I’m sure she wouldn’t mind answering a few questions to help Aredian, would you, Morgana?”

 

Morgana gave a nervous glance towards Arthur before swallowing and took a deep breath. “Of course not, Milord.”

 

* * *

 

Morgana walked towards Aredian chambers with as much dread as she would have had if it were a torture chamber. Upon entering she realized it may as well have been one with the various laceration instruments just randomly lying about.

 

“Ah, the Lady Morgana. Yes. Have a seat Milady.” Morgana did as she was told and nearly stopped breathing when she saw Aredian hanging a particularly terrifying-looking apparatus on the wall.

 

“ I was told you wanted to… to speak with me.” She said with the steadiest voice she could muster while being as scared as she was.

 

“Yes.” Aredian answered. “My work is a tricky business. It requires me to have thorough knowledge of a situation before I arrive on any conclusions. Which means that I must acquire that knowledge through all possible sources, don’t you agree?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good. And would you consider yourself a reliable source, Milady?”

 

Morgana scrunched up her eyebrows. “I’m sorry? I don’t quite understand?"

 

“Meaning, do I have your word that you will answer all my questions truthfully?”

 

“Yes. Of course.” She nodded once for effect.

 

“Very well.” Aredian said with a tight smile. “Then we shall begin.”

 

“Is it true that you receive treatment from Gaius the court physician for nightmares?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“How regularly do such nightmares occur?”

 

“Well, they’re…” Morgana hesitated “I haven’t had them very recently.”

 

“That is not what I asked."  Aredian pointed out harshly.

 

“They usually happen infrequently. But in the past year they’ve become more regular. More… potent.” Morgana mentally kicked herself for divulging more information than necessary.

 

“And by regular, you mean, how much more regular?”

 

“ Every other night, more or less.”

 

 “I see. And what do you have to say about the rumors of your nightmares coming true?

 

“Pardon?”  

 

“Your nightmares, my lady. Is it true that what you dream of comes to pass?”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-“

 

“Answer me truthfully, Lady Morgana.”

 

“Well, yes. Occasionally .”

 

“Did one of these occasions include Prince Arthur almost dying of a Questing beast attack?” Aredian asked without raising his gaze from the parchment he was scribbling on.

 

“Yes.” Morgana muttered weakly.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t quite hear you.”

 

“Yes” Morgana repeated more clearly.

 

“And what about the recent attack by an ancient sorcerer? The one which consisted of stone-carved creatures coming to life and attacking the city. Is it true that you dreamt something to that effect beforehand?”

 

“ I…well, yes. I suppose.” Morgana mentally cursed herself for her pathetic answer. What was wrong with her?

 

“You suppose?”

 

“I didn’t dream the entire event. I just saw a giant raven coming my way. Which happened to be one of the creatures that attacked.”

 

Aredian just nodded and continued taking notes. Morgana gulped, wondering if those very notes were equivalent to her death warrant. No sooner than the the thought crossed her mind, Aredian put the feather back in the inkwell and blew on his papers before arranging them in a neat pile in front of him.

 

When he looked at her she gave him a disarming smile which he returned tightly. “ I believe that will be all, My Lady. No need to worry. You have been most helpful, and now thanks to you I have all the information I require. You may go now.”

 

“Thank you.” Morgana quickly scrambled out of her chair, glad be getting away from the eerie man’s presence.

 

“Oh and My Lady Morgana?”

 

“Yes?"

 

Aredian gave a saccharine smile,“I shall see you in court.”

 

* * *

 

 

Uther wondered what could be so important that required public audience. When he had spoken to Aredian about his interrogation with Morgana the latter had told him point blank there was nothing to tell at that moment.

 

“Aredian, what was it you wanted to discuss?”

 

“Ah, you see, My Lord. It is less a matter of discussion, and more a matter of action. I believe it is something you must see. Rather than just hear.”

 

“I’m afraid I don’t quite understand what you’re talking about.”

 

“Oh you will, sire. In a moment.”

 

And without warning, Aredian threw a knife he had been hiding in his sleeve in Morgana’s direction. The world seemed to slow as she heard Uther shouting her name and Arthur dashing toward her. Her body seemed to move of its own accord as she thrust her arms in front of her and her eyes flashed gold. The knife abruptly stopped about an inch short of her hands, hovering in mid-air for about a second before dropping to the ground. Morgana lowered her shaking hands as her  terrified eyes followed the movement of the knife before fixating on the ground – the realization of what she’d done steadily escalating and making it harder to breathe by the second.

Uther gaped soundlessly at her for a long moment –mirroring the atmosphere in the throne room, which had gone eerily quiet after the Lady’s shocking display.

Then, after what seemed like ages to Morgana, but was only a few seconds, Uther’s booming voice shook her from her state of shock.

 

“Gaurds, restrain her!”

 

A couple of knights grabbed a hold of her and she tried to shake them off, although her distraction and fear made the attempt rather weak and they were easily able to subdue her and Aredian took this opportunity to push her to the ground. Someone protested at that but Morgana's eyes were fixed at the man in front of her.

 

“NO! Please! I’m not… I didn’t…I didn’t mean to!” She pleaded her case to the king, but even through her desperation and fear-addled haze she understood that no explanation was going to save her now.

 

“Are not what?! A witch? Didn’t mean to perform magic?! Sire, she shies from her crime as the evidence lies right in front of your eyes!” Aredian shouted from behind her, pointing at the fallen dagger.

 

“It can’t… I cannot be true. It cannot be true! Do you hear me?! Not-” “Not Morgana.” Uther muttered, shaking his head.

 

Aredian took this opportunity to expose her completely. “Do you deny it, that you have magic?!”

 

Morgana appeared to be unable to form words, or even raise her gaze from where it was stuck to the ground.

 

“Morgana?’ entreated the King.

 

“Answer your king!!” Aredian’s harsh order seemed to do the job.

 

“No.” Morgana whispered.

 

“Louder!” Aredian roared.

 

“No! No, I… have magic. But-"

 

 “ You have magic. You are a sorceress. Do you deny it?”

 

Morgana swallowed. “ No.”

 

“Tell him! Tell the King of your actions as a sorceress!”

 

“I….” She took a moment to look around the courtroom. Almost every expression around her was one of surprise and trepidation. She searched every face in hope for finding some semblance of support, of understanding but after finding nothing, came to the conclusion that she was indeed trapped. “I started the fire in my chambers. I have… I have nightmares that come true. I see the future and I stopped the knife.”

 

“There you have it, My Lord.” He roughly pushed her shoulder, making her slump further.

 

“Morgana…!!” Uther gasped disbelievingly. No. It couldn’t be. It just… couldn’t be! But deep inside the recesses of his frazzled mind, Uther knew it was true. And completely possible. He had wanted to believe that Vivienne’s magic had died with her, or at least that bastard first daughter of hers, but this was very much real. And very much possible. He couldn’t believe that Morgana had betrayed him like this. Practicing magic right under his nose all this time! And he never had the slightest clue. No wonder she was so partial towards magic users! No wonder she stood against their executions! At first he believed that it was just her compassionate heart that led her to defy him, but now he knew better.

 

When she raised her head to look up at him pleadingly, he didn’t see her eyes for their misty green,  instead they changed to a raging blue of Nimueh’s, then to Vivienne’s icy grey, and finally -  gold.  Solid, blinding gold.

 

And then he screamed.

 

* * *

 

As she was being dragged to the dungeons, Morgana thought of every possible way in which she could escape her impending death. She thought of pushing these gaurds away, stealing their swords and slashing her way out. She thought of marching to Uther’s chambers and killing him herself. She thought of lighting a fire with her magic and escaping in the chaos.

As she was pushed into one of the cells and heard, rather than saw the lock click into place she slowly slid down the dungeon floor and dreamed of Arthur and Gwen coming in and getting her out. Gwen, sweet, loyal Guinevere handing her provisions and hugging her while extracting a promise out of her to take care of herself.

Arthur patting her horse and helping her onto it. Teasing her if she knew her way out. Asking her to be safe and promising to bring her back when it would be safe for her again.

And lastly, she dreamed of Merlin. Of Merlin, coming to reassure her that everything would be fine. Merlin, with his captivating smile and crinkled eyes offering to come with her and staying with the Druids, or perhaps in Ealdor with his mother.

 

But Morgana was impulsive, not stupid. Little by little, her mind deconstructed every scenario her imagination has so hopefully built up. She may be a good fighter, but there was no way she’d be able to deflect every guard that came in her way. There’s no way she’d be able to kill Uther, or in the off chance she did – get away with it. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to kill him because she hated him or because somewhere she desperately believed that killing him would save herself. She was a witch. She was meant to be condemned in the Kingdom of Camelot. If not Uther, someone else would do it for him.

Arthur and Gwen feared magic, and most likely hated her after this revelation – especially if their bewildered expressions in the throne room were anything to go by.

And Merlin… god, she didn’t even know what to make of Merlin at this point. She had thought that he was the one person who accepted her and her magic. Who would not hate her simply for being who she is. She thought she had a true friend, a confidant in him. Merlin had always had a comforting quality about him that made Morgana trust him from the beginning. Despite his clumsy and ungainly manner, he was steady and grounded – like a rock. Unwavering in the middle of the raging sea that was her life. More than once her traitorous mind had entertained the possibility of spending forever with him. Of having his support, his understanding, his constant companionship to cherish forever. Perhaps even…love? During the ordeal with the druids she had felt a connection with him so powerful she had never felt the likes of it with anyone else.

But recently he seemed to have… drifted away from her. She didn’t know whether it was her magic or something else. Had he changed his mind about her? Was he disgusted by her magic? Did he think her evil now? Well, whatever it may be, it didn’t matter anymore.

 

The restlessness of her heart had become a familiar sensation ever since Morgana had learned of her magic. The time between the witch finder’s arrival in Camelot to her confession had only served to heighten it like the beat of a drum roll.

But now, as Morgana sat on the dungeon floor with her head rested against the wall, she felt her heart slow down. She felt at peace.  All that worrying, all those sleepless, terrifying nights will finally come to an end.  A part of her felt sick at her simple acceptance of her situation. Had this been her a year before, she would’ve fought and clawed for her independence. For her right to live. Hell, she would’ve even ran away, out into the unknown with nothing save for faith in herself and a hope for a better future. But she knew this time there was to where to run and no way to do so. Morgana Le Fay was going to die for the crime of sorcery.

 

And she accepted it.

* * *

 

Merlin watched in horror as the King gave orders to the knights to drag Morgana to the dungeon. He knew that the short respite he’d gotten the night before when Gaius had been released wouldn’t last forever, but he had certainly not imagined this turn of events. The eventfulness of the past months had caused him to forget about Morgana and her predicament. The fact that the Witchfinder’s arrival could prove to be dangerous for Morgana as well hadn’t even crossed his mind. Instantly he felt guilt prickle at him and went to seek advice of the only one who could help in a hopeless situation such as this, even though he felt that the creature would not be so willing.

“What happened, young warlock? You look even paler. I know that Gaius is not dead, so what troubles you now?”

 

“It’s-” Merlin took a lungful of air, “It’s Morgana.”

 

“The witch?” The dragon paused to chuckle cruelly. “What has she done now?”

 

Merlin narrowed his eyes at “witch”.

“Nothing. She’s done nothing but she’s being punished anyway. The witch finder has… he’s managed to expose her magic and now she’s to be persecuted for it.”

 

“Then you ought to thank the man! For sparing you the trouble of ridding the world of her wretched existence.”

 

“She’s my friend! She’s a good woman! She’s helped me and many others countless times! What kind of person would I be if I just let her die?!”

 

“I understand why you are distressed by this young warlock, but you must let this happen. The Lady Morgana may be good now, but her destiny is riddled with choices that cause nothing but destruction. She is capable only of causing destruction. And moreover, there is nothing you can to save her at this point.” Fiery eyes of molten gold stared intently into his blue ones.

 

“Alright, then.” Merlin said determinately. “If you won’t help me, I’ll help myself. I’ll find a way to save her. And if all else fails, I will… confess.”

 

“DON’T BE FOOLISH, MERLIN!” Kilgharrah bellowed “She is already doomed, one way or another. By trying to prevent her demise, not only will you be end up bringing about your own, but that of Arthur and Camelot as well. Heed my words, young warlock. This is for the best. If only you could see like I do, you would know. Do you remember what happened the last time you went against my wishes to aid the witch, Merlin? You caused the deaths of hundreds of people.”

 

Merlin just shot the dragon a glare before storming out of the cave; but the latter’s words had cut deep, opening up the well of guilt Merlin assumed he had long since buried.

 

* * *

 

Uther anxiously paced the length of the throne room.

 

“But she’s… she’s like my child! How can I…? Gaius! Is there no way to rid someone of their magical abilities? To purge this… this disease? Can’t she give it up like you did?”

 

“Perhaps I can try to-” Aredian started, but Gaius cut him off with a glare. He couldn't dare to imagine what sort of torture the witchfinder would inflict upon the poor girl in an attempt to _cure_ her.

 

“My lord, there are certain people, like myself who’s association with magic is limited to what I used to practice. But there are… certain others…they are…gifted.” Gaius tried to make Uther understand the nature of Morgana's magic.

 

“Magic is NOT a gift! It’s a… putrid curse!”

“Sire, with all due respect, what I meant was that to some magic is…inherent. It’s part of their nature, part of their bodies. There is…nothing that can be done to rid them of it. If one were to try anything it will just be a painful and futile process."

 

Uther looked anxiously about the room, his eyes darting between Gaius and Aredian. He needed some clarity - he had no patience to listen to any more prattle about the _nature_ of something so unholy. Finally, he ordered,

 

“I want everyone to leave my chambers. Except you, Aredian.”

 

“I don’t know who to trust anymore. Wherever I turn, there is magic. In my own kingdom, my own castle, my own ward!”

 

“Sire, it hardly need be said that you can trust me when it comes to purging magic. I have no reason to lie to you. We share the same goal, the same hatred for sorcery. You know you can trust that, if nothing else.”

Uther sat down on his throne, while Aredian came to stand behind him.

 

“What…what do I do?” Uther asked in a devastated whisper, desperate for some clarity.

 

“The only thing that can be done. If what Gaius said is true, then that leaves us with only one option.”

 

“I… can’t.”

It was impossible. Morgana – the child who had grown up in his care. The vivacious, opinionated, compassionate girl who lit up his drab life– he could not possibly equate her to the evil sorceress he saw earlier.

 

Aredian bent in close to Uther’s ear and began speaking in a low, steady tone.

 

“Uther. You are the king of this land. You are the reason Camelot had been blessedly void of magic for the 20 years. Yet, you have spent the last few years battling all sorts of magical forces. From magical creatures to sorcerers and trolls and now this – an eye witnessed magical event! Such happenings have done nothing to flatter your reputation amongst your people. Their Prince nearly died because of a magical beast. The city was wrecked because of an ancient sorcerer come to life. This is all the town is talking about. And now that they know of the Lady Morgana’s magic, they are desperate for justice. You need to take measure, Uther. Immediately, before you lose what little hold you have over this kingdom.” Aredian finished strongly.

 

Uther , though visibly affected by Aredian’s words still looked conflicted. “Morgana… She’s my…She’s like my daughter! I love her!”

 

 Aredian went in for the final blow.

 

“And what about your son? Don’t you love _him_?” Aredian asked.

 

“What sort of a question is that? Of course I do!” Uther exclaimed, surprised by Aredian’s odd question.

 

“Then if you don’t execute Morgana, you will most certainly lose him.”

 

Uther balked at the Witchfinder’s logic.

“What nonsense, Aredian?! How is that even possible?”

 

“It seems your attachment to her has not only clouded your judgment but your memory of recent events as well.” Aredian stated pointedly with raised eyebrows.

 

 “Isn’t it peculiar that whenever Arthur is in mortal danger, _Morgana_ is somehow involved? The time when he was attacked by a questing beast, she knew about it beforehand? She knew about the sorcerer who attacked Camelot not too long ago? She may have been your beloved ward before, but now? Right now she is an abomination, and there is nothing you can do to fix her. Think, Uther! If you don’t execute her, then this won’t be the first time you’d lose your family, your true family, to a _witch_.”

 

As Aredian spoke Uther’s face had t turned chalk white. The image of his wife’s pale, lifeless face turned itself over and over in his head as he was so cruelly reminded of the last time he committed the grave mistake of trusting a witch.

 

And then and there, Uther made a decision. Out of overwhelming fear and equally overwhelming love for the one person he would raze the whole world to protect.

Arthur, _his son_. The one he treasured more than anyone in the world. Strong, noble, just – a beacon for the people of Camelot. Their future king. His son needed to live. He just had to.

 

If Uther had to cut out a piece of his heart and throw it into the flames to ensure that, then so be it.

 

* * *

Merlin sat, noisily tapping both his hands and feet- on one of Gaius' chairs as his anxiety ate at him. As soon as Gaius entered Merlin wasted no time in enquiring about Morgana's fate. “So? What happened? What did he say?”

 

“It…. Didn’t seem like he’s going to relent. Plus, with Aredian poisoning his mind even further I doubt that there was any chance Uther’s going to spare Morgana. And… I regret to say that I was right. She is set to be executed in two days time.”

 

“No. No!” Merlin exclaimed. “She can’t… I can’t…” Merlin trailed off.

After a slight pause, he continued shakily “But, she’s like his daughter! He… he loves her like his child, right?”

 

“I’m afraid Merlin, that Uther’s hatred of magic runs deeper than any love he has for anyone. It’s become a part of him now, as much as his eyes or ears or limbs. It’s instinctive for him to fear magic and to destroy it wherever he sees it.” Gaius replied gravely.

 

“Even if it means killing his own ward?!” Merlin could not believe it.

 

Gaius heaved a tired sigh. “Merlin. I am heartbroken by this as well. But Aredian has woven a solid trap this time. He has completely exposed Morgana. There is no going back for her now. And now is not the time to try Uther. If you try to get involved in this anyhow, Aredian _will_ trap you and get you killed. What happens to your destiny then? What happens to the future of Albion?” 

 

“And what about Morgana? Does her life not matter? And aren't _I_ the one responsible for her situation in the first place?! I was the one who conjured the fog! I caused the Witchfinder’s arrival! If anyone should die it should be me!” Merlin couldn’t stand the idea of her dying over his mistake.

 

“Don’t you dare say that, Merlin!” Gaius snapped at his ward “Your life is important, far more important for the future of this land! I couldn’t… I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you my boy. Don’t you see? If you get involved you’ll only end up incriminating yourself as well. There’s no way to save her now.” Gaius had to make Merlin see how important it was for him to not put himself in danger over what was possibly a lost cause now.

 

“But…” Gaius almost gave into to the devastated look on his charge’s face.

 

“I’m sorry, my boy. But you must let this go.”

 

His soft blue eyes shining with tears, defeated, Merlin repeated “I must let _her_ go.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Author’s blabber - There ya have it, folks!**

**Let me know if you liked it!**

**I’m sorry if Morgana seems to be too scared and resigned – but… that’s canon compliant to how she was in 2x07 (Almost all of s2, I’d say). I know, I know. I like my baby confident and kickass as well, but she’s human and prone to feeling the full range of human emotion, which includes fear and hopelessness.**

 

**Next chapter we finally see Arthur and Gwen’s reaction, Gaius takes a trip down memory lane and Little Morgana makes an appearance!**

**And maybe there’s some Mergana interaction too but meh I don’t think that’s very relevant to your interests.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Elloo children. I'm back.**

**And look what I brought for you!**

Paragraphs in Italics are flashbacks

* * *

_She was perched on his workbench, while he finished mixing a potion. Looking around with big, curious eyes while swinging her legs restlessly. It had barely been five minutes, but her expression made it seem like she had been made to wait for an eternity. Bored and anxious, she tried to make conversation with the only living being in the room._

_"So you're the King's Physician?"_

_"I'm the Court Physician." corrected Gaius, not looking up from the tube in his hand._

_"Isn't that the same thing?"_

_"Not quite, child. Being the Court Physician, I treat not only the King, but the rest of Camelot's citizens as well." He shuffled its contents a bit._

_"Oh. That must be a very uhh rewarding job."_

_"It is."_

_"Have you always wanted to be a physician?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Ever since you were a child?"_

_"Yes."_

_"How did you know that?"_

_"You ask quite a lot of questions, don't you?" Gaius finally looked away from his work to raise an eyebrow at the little girl._

_"I'm a very curious person."_

_"So I've noticed." He went back to mixing his potion._

_""You didn't answer my question."_

_""Of course. I'm sorry My Lady. I forget what it- oh yes. About how I knew I wanted to be physician, was it?""_

_"That's correct."_

_"I've always known I wanted to help people. To relieve them of their discomfort. And I've always held an interest in science and healing."_

_"Are they the same? Healing and Science?"_

_"Well, yes. Healing is a kind of Science."_

_"Isn't it like magic?"_

_Gaius nearly dropped his tube. "No, Milady." It's purely science. Based on facts and figures. And for your own safety, Milady, you must never mention magic in this castle. It is forbidden by the King."_

_"Why?'_

_"Because magic is dangerous. And its wielders are evil."_

_"All of them?"_

_"Yes. All."_

* * *

"Father, what is this? You've sentenced Morgana to death? Morgana?" Arthur barged into his father's chambers to find Uther looking out the window.

"Yes, I have. She has shown clear signs of possessing magic and practicing sorcery. I believe you were present in the Great Hall when the incident took place." Uther replied, not even turning around to acknlowledge his son.

"I was but, shouldn't we think this through? Give it time? Try to understand her motives, her circumstances? I refuse to believe that Morgana could actually mean any harm to us." Arthur insisted.

"Then you're a fool. A sorcerers motives always have to do with causing harm, and gaining power." 

"Fath-"

"Sorcery… changes people, Arthur." Uther interrupted his son. "That is not the Morgana you know. Or at least, she won't be for much longer. With her magic.. she is capable of destruction and evil beyond your imagination. She…" Uther broke off with a heavy sigh, his body nearly wracking with a sob, but held on "For the safety of this kingdom, for mine and most of all your safety, she cannot be allowed to live."

Arthur scoffed disbelievingly "Cannot be..!" Cannot be allowed to live?! Since when do you hold the power over life and death? Since when do you get to decide who should and shouldn't be allowed to live?!

"SINCE I AM KING! As I have been for nearly thirty years! So understand when I say I know what's best for this kingdom. Morgana is not the first person I've sacrificed for the good of my nation and she certainly won't be the last." Uther's expression softened just a bit " I know this is hurting you, son. And you cannot imagine what this decision is doing to me. But I…" Uther gripped the sides of Arthur's face, "You are my greatest treasure. And the future of this kingdom. I cannot bear to lose you. Trust me, Arthur. I'm only doing this to protect you. To protect the kingdom. You'll thank me for this one day."

"You've gone mad."

Uther dropped his hands and took a step back with a hard scowl on his face.

"Mad I may be, but I am still your king. And my decision is final. There isn't anything you, or anyone else can do to change that."

* * *

"HEAR, HEAR!" Bertha was startled by the loud, familiar voice on her way home from the sweetbread her daughter had been asking for all week. After yet another day of backbreaking work, she was looking forward to a peaceful evening and the joyous face of her baby when she gives her the surprise. "HEAR, noble people of Camelot! Uther's precious ward turned out to be a witch!"

"What?" His exclamation had piqued a passerby's curiosity, but others, it seemed, had about as little interest in the ravings of the unpleasant drunkard as she. _Serves him right,_ thought Bertha. _Was always a nuisance and hasn't changed at all._

"Shut it! Nobody wants to hear yer mad ramblings!"

"Hah! You won't be saying that when you all crawl to the town square to watch her execution like the sick little rats you are! I've heard it with me own ears! The Lady Morgana is a witch! No wonder she's so beautiful! She must be using sorcery to keep such lovely form and deceive us all with her fake benevolence. Lord knows what she's been up to, right under the King's nose, probably bewitching the Prince each and every day, that sneaky little devil's WHOR-"

The rest of his words died out as he felt the crushing force of a fist against his jaw that sent him knocking against the ground.

"Take that filth elsewhere. Until the announcement is made official, you don't get to spread any rubbish ideas among the people."

A grunt from the man on the ground.

The knight roughly lifted him by the collar and barked in his face "Am I clear?!"

"Yes". The man wheezed. "Yes."

"Good. If I hear about you creating a commotion again, you'll be thrown into the dungeons."

Having witnessed the entire event, Bertha now turned back and practically ran back to her house before slamming the door shut. She shut her eyes tightly, hardly daring to believe what she had just heard.

No. It couldn't be. The King couldn't possibly murder his own ward.

_Or maybe he could._

In Bertha's own experience, the King was a merciless, short sighted, misogynist, delusional and unjust man. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that he wasn't above this kind of atrocity. He would be ready to watch The Lady Morgana die if that is what it took to uphold his precious laws.

Bertha didn't know if she could, though.

* * *

"Arthur. Arthur, say something, please."

The fiasco in the courtroom had shaken the entire population of Camelot. But no one was more shaken than Arthur and Guinevere. The girl that they'd grown up with, someone that they'd known their entire lives and was as much a part of them as the hands attached to their body was a witch.

Someone may as well have told Arthur that the Sun rose in the West or that he had donkey ears. That would have been more believable. Had he not seen the proof with his own two eyes he would never have believed it, and probably challenged anyone who suggested it to a duel. How? And why? Why would she do it? Why would she choose to learn magic? Why would she choose to involve herself with such evil? Morgana was one of the most just and morally correct people he knew. Why would she choose to be a witch?

Unless it was all an act? Was she evil from the beginning and just hid it well?

Wait,  _what?_

What was he thinking? Did he really care so little for Morgana that he was so cavalierly able to doubt her sincerity at the first sign of sorcery? No. He couldn't do that her. Wouldn't do that to her.

All his life, he had been taught that sorcery was the greatest of all evils. Or rather, the root of all evil. His father and his ideologies had had the strongest impact in his upbringing.

But if there was anything, or rather anyone else who could match up to that influence in his life it was Morgana. He may have already had a conscience, but it was Morgana who taught him to follow it. It was Morgana who challenged and encouraged Arthur to form his own opinions, even if they might not align with those of his father's. It was Morgana who had always been there, for as long as he could remember.

Not to get him wrong, he loved Guinevere more than life itself. He was sure of that. Guinevere's strong, wise and patient presence has helped him grow into a man he didn't know he was capable of becoming. But Morgana? Morgana is the one who has always,  _always_  been there – for as long as he can remember. She was the one who had filled the gnawing hole in his heart caused by his mother's absence since his childhood. She was the one who had filled in the role of the understanding family member that Uther never could. His father has already made up his mind, and expects him to follow in his footsteps. Can he really do that? Can he condemn Morgana?

Just the thought of it – Of watching her being tied to a post, of watching the flames engulf his childhood companion made him shudder.

_No!_

He clenched his eyes shut, willing the horrifying vision away from his mind.

Just...no.

But... could he really go against his father's teachings for Morgana's sake?

His head was screaming and reminding him of his father's teachings, his legacy, of the continual magical attacks on Camelot, but his heart was having none of it. Go one way, and he might ruin his relationship with his father forever. Go the other and... he didn't even know. One thing was for sure - wouldn't be able to live with himself.

He looked into Guinevere's eyes – ice blue meeting chocolate brown. "We're not going to let her die, Guinevere. We're going to save Morgana."

Gwen's beautiful face lit up with a smile at that. Despite that the tears of fear and despair in her eyes had not yet dried, she felt instantly more confident about this hopeless situation. Although she had faith in her Arthur, there was a silver of doubt that couldn't help but creep in. For a moment she was afraid that the part of him that was Uther's son would win out and there would be no hope.

But now – she so relieved and so,  _so_   _proud_  of him for choosing the right thing. It didn't solve everything, of course. But with Arthur by her side, she knew it was only a matter of time till they figured out a way to save their friend.

* * *

_His chambers were a mess, and were about to dissolve into an even worse mess if something wasn't done as soon as possible. Gaius had just been working on what was a revolutionary and if it worked, priceless potion. However, a slight push and the alcohol had mixed with the valerian and behold - a rapidly growing, uncontrollable fire._

_Luckily for him, he saw tiny pale hands struggling to grasp and lift a giant basket and poured the white powder all over the fire. It died down almost completely in an instant. Gaius stomped his foot on the remaining tiny flames for good measure. He down at the little girl who'd just rescued him and possibly saved his chambers._

_Morgana was trying to dust off the white monstrosity from her velvet purple dress in vain. She looked rather put off at the thought of ruining it. Gaius chuckled at that observation. She was an oddly endearing mix of such incongruous attributes._

_"Thank you, lady Morgana."_

_Morgana whipped her head at his voice. Big green eyes locked on his as if she was suddenly reminded of the fact that he was there too._

_"Oh! Gaius! Are you alright?"_

_"I'm alright, milady. Just a mild burn on my han"_

_"You're hurt? Oh dear, I should have been quicker!"_

_"I'm fine, really."_

_"No." For one so tiny, her voice carried a lot of authority. "You should sit on the chair over there and I'll be just a minute." He raised an eyebrow but did as she asked. She gracefully trotted over to the cupboard and pulled out the medicine box before bringing it back to him and kneeling in front of him. She surprised him even further when she picked out the exact right paste for burns and started applying it on the back of his hand where he'd been burned. He honestly wondered where she'd managed to learn all that._

_"Observation, Gaius." She told him with a blinding smile when he'd asked her the same. "I see what you do whenever I come here and I just remember."_

_Gaius raised an eyebrow, feeling there was more to it than that._

_"And, well, I.."_

_"And you what, Milady?" Gaius prodded._

_"Please don't get mad, but I take your books to my room to read sometimes." Morgana confessed, feeling ashamed to admit it._

_"You steal my books?"_

_"Not steal! Just borrow." Even though she wanted to believe her own words, Morgana knew somewhere that what she had done hadn't been right._

_But it's not as if she had a choice! She really wanted those books! There was nothing of their sort in the library, and even if there were, Geoffrey would never let her have them, thinking her too young or too dim to understand._

_"Taking someone's things without their permission is stealing, my child. Whether you return it later or not. Why couldn't you have just asked for them?"_

_Having Gaius' stern but understanding face staring down at her was the last straw, though. Morgana was rebellious and stubborn, but not unreasonable._

_"I'm sorry." She apologized, her eyes firmly locked on the floor. "I just thought you wouldn't give them to a child if I asked. You might think I'll damage them."_

_"Nonsense, my lady. You're one of the most responsible and graceful people I know. I'm sure you'll treat my precious books with care. Now, I'm more than willing to lend you my books, as long as you inform me everytime you do so. And feel free to ask me about anything you might not understand or want explained further."_

_"Really?" Her face brightened up at that. "Thank you, Gaius!"_

_She hugged him then and Gaius chuckled as he hugged her tiny form back._

_Gaius._

Gaius!

"Huh?"

Gaius was brought back to the present by hands waving in front of his face and his ward's worried face staring down at his.

"Gaius, what-... are you alright?"

It was only then that Gaius realised his eyes were misty and he had been crying.

He hastily brushed the tears off and gave Merlin what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, must've been leaning on my chair the wrong way. It happens when one does that."

"Gaius."

"It's natural. A bit of extra pressure on one side triggers the tear ducts and-"

"Gaius!"

"I know you were thinking about Morgana."

Gaius sighed, "Merlin."

"I can see how much this is affecting you. How much it's affecting everyone."

"Where is this going, Merlin?"

"Where it should! Look, we have to think of a way to save her. If she means so much to everyone then why aren't we?! If this were Arthur then would you have been stopping me?"

As much as Gaius would have wanted to right then, He couldn't lie. Not with Merlin's earnest blue eyes boring into his – begging him to speak the truth.

"No. I wouldn't."

"Then why? Why have we resigned ourselves to this situation? Why does she not deserve to be saved? Why are we mourning for her as if she's already dead?!"

There had been many times in Gaius' life when he'd felt old, so very old and so very helpless with the situation. When Ygraine died, when the Purge happened, when he lost Alice, and now finally when Morgana has been condemned to death. He braved through all of that not knowing what it was for. There were many a times when he felt like he had betrayed himself and did not deserve to live. Now, looking at Merlin he realises that it was all for this. All to mentor and care for this one boy. This brilliant, precious boy who, along with Arthur is going to shape a new world. Of peace, love and tolerance. Morgana was just another sacrifice that had to be made in order to protect that world.

That didn't make it any easier on his heart.

He knew if there was a god up there, If heaven and hell existed then he was certainly going to hell. His mind did nothing to ease him and kept replaying his memories of Morgana. He stared at the sleeping potion in his hand, and hoped he never gets a peaceful night after she dies. He doesn't deserve it.

"Because there's nothing you can do to help her. The sooner you accept that, Merlin, the sooner you'll be at peace."

Lies. Gaius has never been at peace. And never will be.

With that he rushed out of the door, quickly informing Merlin that he had to go get some supplies, unable to look at the accusing eyes of his ward any longer.

* * *

"Food."

The knight stared at the plate in his hand before looking menacingly at the servant.

"For me? How sweet."

Before the obnoxious gaurd could steal the plate Merlin pulled it away from him. "This is for the Lady Morgana."

"The Lady, eh? Don't you mean, the witch?"

The only other person to have ever called her that was the dragon. In the same tone, too. It didn't sound right to Merlin then and it sure didn't sound right now. The dragon was a giant fire breathing reptile that had mentored Merlin for years. But even that hadn't stopped Merlin from wanting to hurt the dragon the first time he called Morgana an "evil witch". This man was human. A pathetic, corrupt human hiding his true seld behind the knight's armor. Who was he to talk about Morgana like that? What did he even know about her? All the knights were divided into two kinds of men. Those smitten with her for her surface beauty or those who resented her for either rejecting their advances or for boldly calling them out when they misused their title and authority. This arse seemed to belong to the second category.

"Let me go and deliver this to her, please." Merlin gritted out the last word.

"I'll save you the trouble. She's gon' be be dead soon anyway. What does it matter whether she dies with a full belly or a hollow stomach?"

"It matters a whole lot. She's the King's ward. The kind would have your head if he found out you were the one putting an obstruction to the Lady Morgana getting her food."

"Hah. The King could care less and you know that. He's the one who has sentenced her and she's no Lady right now, get that into your hollow skull, you idiot! She's nothing but a corrupt, evil witch who's been doing the devil's bidding in order to keep the entire court entranced by her cursed beauty!" He spat out the last word before continuing. "She's probably whored herself to him in exchange for knowledge of the black arts so she can destroy the King's empire from within. Now hand over the plate before I have to teach you a lesson about respecting one's superiors!"

The ramblings of the unruly knight came to an abrupt halt as he was punched right across the face. The force of the blow made him lose his balance and he tried to brace himself in vain for the inevitable fall.

"Another word, and I will take this to the king. And make sure that you will be headless before the Lady Morgana ever could set foot on the pyre. Get out of here and if I ever see you anywhere near her cells again, you will regret it."

The look in the other knight's eyes was murderous but he complied, understanding that he was at a disadvantage now.

In hindsight, Merlin was thankful that Leon had stepped in right then or else he was sure that his magic would have been revealed in that moment.

"Merlin, I'm sorry about him. He's always been a bit of a nuisance, but I had no idea he harboured such poisonous feelings towards the Lady."

"And you, Leon? You do not? Despite the knowledge of what she is?"

"I just... I don't know, Merlin. No matter what happens I have to respect and uphold my king's decisions. But that does not mean that I must turn into a barbarian in order to do so. She is a Lady, and she has always been a kind, respectful and gracious one. I cannot imagine her to be evil but I cannot presume to know more than my King on that matter."

Merlin, both relieved and disappointed at Leon's answer, just nodded. Leon nodded back and sidestepped to let Merlin pass and make his way to Morgana's cell.

Merlin found her curled up, laying on the cold hard ground in a fetal position. She now adorned a simple light green woollen dress with her hair still loose. It made his heart hurt to see her like that – the once proud and powerful lady reduced to such hopelessness. The shackles had already made angry red marks on her delicate wrists. He could hardly bear to look at them.

"Milady."

She opened her eyes.

"Good to see you, Merlin."

"I brought you food."

"I'm not hungry. Thank you."

"Please, Milady. You haven't had anything all day. You need to eat."

Morgana snorted, "For what? What does it matter if a convicted prisoner is executed with a full belly or a hollow stomach? Or is Uther planning to stuff me like a chicken before roasting me on the pyre?"

"Oh god, you heard that?"

She let out a low snort "That knight wasn't exactly whispering."

"Morgana, I'm so sor-"

"Why are you apologizing?" Morgana furrowed her eyebrows.

"Because you had to hear that."

"You weren't the one who said it, Merlin."

"Still, I... I feel responsible for it. Don't-" Merlin sucked in a breath

Under normal circumstances, Merlin would never have been the one to initiate such contact. There had always been something unspoken between them. A sort of an understanding, a strange comfort they found in each other's presence and most of all, a desire to get to know more about the other. They always pulled back before they got too close, though. It was mostly him. He was the one who had so many secrets. Morgana had always been so raw and honest and always seemed a hair's breadth away from laying herself bare before him. It was always him who had to take a step back, before he got lost in her tide and ended up spilling all his secrets.

But now he realised that he regretted it. He regretted all those opportunities he missed to share his true self with her. To show her the true wonder that her gifts were. To alleviate the loneliness he knew she must have been feeling. And maybe, just maybe if he had started teaching her all those months ago perhaps it would never have come to this. She wouldn't have done what she did in the Great Hall and Aredian would have had nothing to condemn her with. He closed his eyes, cursing himself for not helping her out of his own cowardice, therefore inadvertently leading to this.

He reached through the bars and covered her soft and with his own calloused palm. "Don't you ever let those things get to you. You are the most kind, just, brave, intelligent and honest woman I know. I know for a fact that there is no evil in your heart. People like him, people like Uther, Aredian – they're vile and ignorant and they choose to be like that. They choose to stay in their little bubble of prejudice if it suits them. Don't let their hate get to you, Morgana. Don't ever let them change you."

Morgana gave a watery smile at that.

"Don't worry, Merlin. I won't. Besides, there won't be any time for me to change anyway." She chuckled at the bittersweet thought.

"Don't talk like that!"

Morgana jumped at his shout, so uncharacteristic of Merlin.

"Just...please, Morgana. Don't talk like that about yourself. Don't give up hope. Please."

Merlin choked on a sob at the last word.

Morgana didn't understand. She didn't understand why he was so devastated at the thought of her dying. It wasn't as if they were very close. His actions when she had first found out about her magic had been very sweet, but only those of a good friend and a helpful man. And recently his distance had made it clear that, for whatever reason, he didn't think much of her anymore. So why now?

She was being ridiculous. He was a sweet, sensitive man. He would cry like that for any friend. Even if it was one like her, who had only ever put him in danger and asked him for help. She realised that she had been quiet for too long and Merlin was beginning to look even more hopeless than before. She pulled her hand from under his palm only to put it back on top of his, gently caressing it with her thumb.

"I won't lose hope, Merlin."

Merlin managed to smile through his tears, and pulled out Morgana's hand through the bars to place a kiss on her fingers.

"I know things seem hopeless, Milady. But we will find a way. Do you hear me? We will."

And for that moment, Morgana believed him.

* * *

That's all, folks!

_Next chapter we get an insight into what's going on in Gwen's mind, Uther and Morgana have a chat, and we find out what's really the deal with Bertha!_

**_Kay I'm not gonna lie, this one really seems kinda rushed but It's been 4 million years and this story just needed to be updated. So here y'all are. Also giant thank you and virtual cookies for all those who read, reviewed and left kudos on this!_ ** **_Thank you so, so much. I hope you continue to enjoy this story and all that is to come :3_ **

**Until the next chapter!**

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive criticism is appreciated, but please bear in mind that English is not my first language and that I'm not a regular writer before going off on me. Please leave a review and kudos if ya like!


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